I posted to my social media last week that my husband and I are finally settling into a routine, that we’re finally starting back with our hobbies and goals and life… but I spoke too soon.
In my last post, I mentioned this year already starting off as a whirlwind and it still kind of is, so I want to explain what I’m talking about.
On January 1st (yes on New Year’s Day) my husband and I moved to Fort Worth, Texas, from a small town in Missouri.
We literally started off the New Year completely new.
We moved from a small town to a big city, from a 4-bedroom home to a one bedroom loft apartment, from being close to family to knowing no one.
This has been a big change, for sure, and although the way I described it might sound scary, it’s actually been a welcomed change. Scary still, but in a good way. Like when riding a roller coaster – there’s still a chance the cart wheels come unhinged, but it’s exciting once you reach the platform and find you’re still breathing.
For the last month, our lives have been chaotic. We only had two weeks’ notice with Christmas and New Year’s in the middle of it all. Then my husband started work immediately, and I’ve been looking for a new job as well. In the meantime, we’ve explored some of the city and tried doing everything at once it seems.
So we haven’t had much of a chance to soak it all in, reflect, or breathe.
We haven’t had much of a chance to find our balance, our center, our calm within this moving storm.
Yesterday, I made the comment to my husband that I have to keep reminding myself to take it slow, to take it all in strides, because we live here now. We’re not on a short vacation, during which we usually jam-pack our days with sightseeing and unhealthy food choices (i.e. heaps of ice cream every day).
We live here.
This is our new home, and we have plenty of time for all the fun.
It’s been hard to slow down, to get back to anything that remotely resembles routine and normalcy, but it’s taken a toll on us both. Although we have joined a gym, we’ve been eating out quite a bit, driving around just to see what’s here, taking our dogs to dog parks just because we can now.
But it’s all distracting. So much so that it’s hard for me to hear my own thoughts. I haven’t written much. Yesterday was the first day I sat down to just write for a couple hours. I worked on a story I hadn’t thought about in a month, so I spent a good half hour refreshing my memory.
It was nice, though, to hear the characters’ voices in my head again (<– this is normal, right?), to have the clicking of the keys fill the room as I wrote word after word, to feel the carpal tunnel setting in again (this is real, y’all!). It’s all coming back to me. And although some things like my fingers cramping are not pleasant, they’re also reminders of what I’m doing – I’m chasing a dream.
I know it doesn’t seem like a month is a very long time, but to me, with so much that’s happened, it feels like it’s been much longer, especially since it took me away from all my words.
Now, I’m starting to restructure my days (for real this time), to leave room for exploration but mostly to work on what means most to me and accomplish my goals. This last month has been a major adjustment and it’s only been a few weeks that we’ve been in Fort Worth, so we’re allowed some time for fun.
But I’m ready to write all the words again. To revisit my current project. At least now when I take breaks, I can explore the city, go to a coffee shop, have lunch at Chipotle no problem. I’m going to strive to enjoy the good things about this new place while still remaining focused on my goals.
This is going to be a good year – I can already feel it, even though we started off a little bumpy and awestruck. But we’re allowed! You’re allowed too, but don’t forget to find your center. To find your balance where you’re the best you in the long run.
Live your best life, and all that it entails for you.
Mine is exploring and enjoying this new city with my husband but balancing it out with my writing so that I can achieve my publishing goals. These goals haven’t changed, so finding my center means cutting out too much noise so I can think clearly once again.
To stay focused and balanced. This is when I’m truly my best self. It’s when I can be the most creative and effective. I can’t be productive when I allow the noise and distractions and unhealthy food choices to bog me down. I don’t have to see and do all the things this new place has to offer at once.
I’m still navigating this new life, this big change, but I’m closer to finding that success I’m looking for. In a new year, new place, new me.
But still the old me too.
I’d like to think that I’m becoming a better version of myself because of this move and all that I hope to accomplish this year. The move and my goals are intertwined, after all. For one, I’ll have more to write about now that I’m experiencing so many new things and meeting new people.
And I know because of it all, the best is yet to come.